The issue of truthfulness – that is, how much to tell and when to tell it – continues to be a huge issue with couples. To help men better understand how woman react to truthfulness (or lack thereof), I’ve devised the following two charts:
CHART A: I know you’re doing your best to not get in trouble and you don’t like getting yelled at. However, telling the truth immediately will ensure that the anger is (relatively) short-lived. You may get yelled at in the short term, but you’d be surprised how quickly the anger will pass when you’re honest up front.
CHART B: Yes, if you don’t say anything immediately, you’ll spare yourself irritation in the now. But if the truth is revealed much after the fact, her anger will be hotter and last longer. Forgiveness will be a harder to obtain, and she’ll probably have to spit whenever she says your name from now until eternity. Short term relief, but long-term purgatory.
Of course there are variables that may impact the numbers, but in most cases, this formula does apply. Gentlemen, which do you prefer?
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15 Comments
I prefer A but most men will go for option B in the hope that the truth is not revealed
and they get away with the Event in question.
I prefer wine.
An even more interesting set of charts would draw conclusions on how long women hold anger against other women who have done something wrong to them.
DiVA — too many variables to chart. Talk about roller coasters!
Also, factor in Italian-ness for added fluctuation…
It might be impossible.
..or whine in this case
..in all seriousness though…honesty is obviously always the best policy. However, to be fair to guys, women often just get too angry for the littlest thing, and just back men into a corner often enough that they end up in using scenario B. Another way to look at this is, instead of pointing out what men do in couples that make women angry, we can turn this around and ask what women do to make men like this in the first place. All this on the principle that any two people in a relationship take 50% of the responsibility for it.
This is a scientific approach to something which is totally unrelated to science: understanding women. Art, sixth sense, sheer luck all factor into the understanding of the other sex. But science…never.
Men, avoid complications. Admit that you made a mistake and beg forgiveness. (and don’t ever ask what it was that you did wrong-you did it, you know you did-the fact that you can’t identify the fault is not important)
She will forgive you in time. It is woman’s nature to forgive. Just like it is man’s nature to be oblivious.
Très juste adri! Une bêtise se fait pardonner beaucoup plus facilement qu’un manque de confiance…
I love that I have such civilized men in my life… except Guido. I think…
What scares me, is the 60% level of anger after 6 months in A. Wow!
Sorry but, je ne vois pas comment un couple peut endurer ça, peu importe la faute originelle, à moins d’un engagement très fort et un espoir très solide de jours meilleurs.
I would expect the timeline going from now to one week, not from now to infinity.
Anyway, I think the numbers are not that important. It’s the general idea that is.
And one general idea that is important to understand here, is that the 50% rule applies only to yourself (ok, my girlfriend cheated on me, do I have my part of responsability by doing something that pushed her in that direction?) and never never never never on the other (ok, I cheated you, but don’t you think you have 50% responsability on it?)
Guido and Étienne do have a point, all kidding aside — my charts do not address blame, history or psychological motivations. Also, they are not meant to make the woman seem innocent or throw all the blame on the man.
They simply illustrate a basic truth – one that is equally applicable towards angry boyfriends as well: in most cases, being honest up front will lead to more long-lasting forgiveness and a greater chance of trust being reestablished.
Cheating, alcoholism, abuse and the like cannot be charted so simply. More extreme circumstances cannot be so easily generalized. Or resolved.
so im 16 and my gf is 14 but mature and smart for her age and we’ve been going out since 9/12/10♥ . were both smart enough to relieze that these arguments just happen and we let it pass eventually, but its all about when and when not to be truthful [btw always be truthful. gaaaad its so much easier] like every girl is different in theyre own way. mine doesnt like me being truthful “straight up” cuz she hates a softy guy. but like
overall just be truthful and kno WHEN to start being because so far from my relationship experience thats how i see it and if im wrong correct me. btw if u judge my knowgledge of this rudely, u can kiss the hairiest part of my ass. thank you :] ahaha
John, if you would be so kind as to pass the message along to some of your older tribe members, say in the 35-45 year range, all of us ladies would be eternally grateful. Sounds as if your girlfriend is lucky to have you. Hope that she appreciates it!
Now let us post a chart where the anger is actually justifiable. It would probably be in the negatives.
I wouldn’t even attempt to touch that question